Will you ever know?
by storyteller41
Summary: Warning: Sad. Rated T for cutting and suicide. One-Shot. Read and Review.


Will You Ever Know?

Disclaimer: I don't own Danny Phantom or any of the characters.

**Chapter 1**

Sam Manson wasn't the same girl anymore. She had too much heartache, too many broken dreams, and too many unhappy endings. She had two friends, Danny and Tucker. She'd changed over the years. At first those changes were slight and hardly noticeable. First she changed from the belly shirt to a tee-shirt that covered her belly, and then came long sleeves; next her miniskirt was replaced by long skirt and then later replaced with baggy pants. She didn't wear anything without long sleeves. She was still an ultra-recyclo vegetarian, but she didn't bug Danny and Tucker about eating meat like she used to. She just silently ate her salad. She still walked with them to and from school. She never talked about her own opinions anymore.

She used to wear other colors such as purple and green, but those were gone too. She traded her purple lipstick for black and black was the only color she wore no matter what the occasion. She never volunteered in class, but was a straight A student. When she helped Danny and Tucker fight ghosts, she just stood there with the Fenton Thermos ready, leaning against the wall looking bored. She was always the one who sucked the ghosts in. Then she'd mumble a quiet see ya later guys and quickly leave.

Paulina still called her 'Goth Freak' and 'Loser' but it looked like Sam paid no attention. Tucker never got bruises anymore because no matter what he said Sam didn't have any reaction to it. "We're not Lovebirds" was only said by Danny now, though since she didn't seem to really pay attention to anything there weren't many blushy moments between them and if there were it was usually one sided on Danny's end. They all still hung out together and Sam still kicked their rears as 'Chaos.'

What they didn't know, what nobody knew, was what went on inside her head. They saw her write in this little black book every spare chance she got. She was always the first one done with her homework and that little black book would come out. She'd write in it furiously as if her life depended on it. She hid it well, no one could find it.

After something particularly crazy happened, Danny decided to look in on her. What he saw her doing made him even more confused. She was crying, silent, wracking shoulders, kind of crying. He looked on shocked at first. He wasn't sure if he should go in or not. She finally stopped crying. She wiped her eyes and sat up.

She took out her little black book out of its hiding place, which Danny happened to see. She began writing in it desperately. He decided to leave her for awhile and come back later when she was asleep so he could see what she's always writing about. He'd have to be really careful so that Sam wouldn't catch him. She didn't react too much these days, but he didn't want to take a chance.

He came back after a few hours to find her still up. It was nearing one O'clock in the morning. He was wondering if she'd been writing all of that time. Finally she put the book away and shut off the light. He waited until her breathing evened out and he was sure she was sleeping. He carefully took out the book and flipped it open. He was glad that in his ghost form he could see in the dark. (A/N: Don't know if it's like that in the show, but in my story I'm taking creative liberties.)

_Will you ever know what my heart's been through?_

_Chasing after you_

_It's broken and bleeding_

_And I'm really needing_

_Someone to mend my broken heart_

_You don't even know you're the one who shattered it with a poisoned dart_

(A/N: I made that up, it's mine.)

He turned to the next page with wide eyes.

_Can my life get any worse? Yes it can. My parents left me. Okay, yeah they usually leave me when they go on vacations and stuff and I'm here by myself, but this time they really left me. They left me a note, a flipping note. It said 'Samantha, I'm sorry. We left you some money and we'll still pay the bills every month. It's not as if we can't afford two mansions. Just think of this as having your own place. We love you. You're just too much to handle, besides Grandma will be there to take care of you. Love you, Mother and Father.' Yeah, too bad they forgot that Grandma moved out because of them. I live in this mansion by myself and nobody has a clue._

He turned the page again.

_Today was the first day that I did it. Yeah, I'm not going to tell you what I did in case somebody finds this and reads it. Oh goodness, it made me feel better for a little bit anyways. Yeah, I think that's going to become a more natural occurrence. I'm going to go to bed now. Oh, I feel relieved, sort of._

He flipped to around the middle and started reading again.

_Well, I guess I can tell you what I've been doing since nobody's noticed anything and it seems that nobody cares, not even my two best friends. I've been cutting, that's why I don't wear short sleeves anymore. I've been living alone for three months and nobody's figured it out. I thought my friends would figure out that I'm hurting and that I need help, but that's too much to freaking ask. I guess I could actually ask them for help, but I don't want to seem weak. So here I am with scars all over, but whatever. It makes me feel better. It makes the emotional pain go away. Oh how it tortures me that nobody loves me. I talked to my grandma, turns out she decided to move… to the Caribbean. I'll probably never see her again. I couldn't possibly tell her that my parents left me, that I was too much to handle. Okay, I can understand that. I wouldn't want to have to deal with me either._

_I usually cut before and after I write in here, but today I thought multi-tasking was in order. Excuse the drops of blood that spill on here, I'll try to wipe them off as best I can, but why bother. Nobody knows and nobody cares. Today the whole school was laughing at me, Tucker and Danny included. I didn't show any reaction, they couldn't know that they just ripped out the only pieces of my shattered heart that I had left._

_I thought my 'friends' would stick up for me not join in. I guess that was just too much to ask too. It's too late now, nobody can save me, not that anyone has tried. _

Danny wondered why he and Tucker didn't notice anything. They thought she was just trying to be more into her 'Goth' character. He put it back where he found it. He left and got Tucker. They discussed Sam.

"You know she's going to kill us if she finds out that you read her little black book and told me about it, right?" Tucker asked seriously.

"Tuck, we gotta do something. She's our best friend and we didn't notice the signs."

"What are we gonna do?"

"I don't know."

They discussed some more ideas, but didn't really come up with one. They went to school tiredly. Sam met them as usual. The day went on, but after school Sam didn't say 'see you later.'

"Bye guys." She said quietly and kissed them both on the cheek. She ran home. They looked at each other worriedly, but did nothing.

The next morning Sam didn't meet them for their walk to school. She hadn't missed a day since their freshman year of high school. Danny and Tucker went to class. They decided that they would stop by Sam's on their way home. They went there after school and found her. She had committed suicide. She had written two notes, one for Danny and Tucker and one for the school.

_Tucker and Danny,_

_I don't know that you guys will find this or even care, but I thought it would be bad if I didn't at least tell you why I did what I did. It's not your fault, don't blame yourselves. This world was just too hard for me. _

_Sam_

_To the students of Casper High:_

_If you are reading this or having this read to you, it means that I am dead. You are probably all rejoicing at this news. How many times have I heard 'Why doesn't she just die?' I have granted your wish. _

_Samantha Manson AKA 'the Goth Geek' 'Goth loser' and 'Sam'_

_P.S. You had better call me Sam when you're talking about and making a mockery of my death._

Tucker read it over the intercom. Then he said, "Sam was my best friend. I didn't help her and I should have known. I will never forgive myself." Everyone stopped and was silent.

_A/N: That was really full of angst wasn't it? Tell me what you thought. Good or bad I want to know your opinions._


End file.
